On Your Birthday by Jeffrey Lo

ON YOUR BIRTHDAY BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

CHAMPLIN sits on a chair and reads a book.

DING! goes his phone

CHAMPLIN checks his phone.

Someone sent him a Happy Birthday text.

CHAMPLIN smiles.

CHAMPLIN puts his phone away.

CHAMPLIN returns to his book.

DING! goes his phone.

CHAMPLIN checks his phone.

Someone posted a Happy Birthday! Meme onto his Facebook Wall.

CHAMPLIN shakes his head at it.

CHAMPLIN eventually gives in and laughs.

CHAMPLIN puts his phone away.

CHAMPLIN returns to his book.

DING! goes his phone.

Before CHAMPLIN can get his phone out –

DING! goes his phone.

DING! goes his phone.

DING goes his phone.

CHAMMPLIN looks at his phone.

The entire room starts to fill with the sound of hundreds of voices, familiar, unfamiliar and scary all yelling HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY!

CHAMPLIN starts to screammmmmmmmmm!

Blackout.

END OF PLAY.

Complications Singing Happy Birthday by Jeffrey Lo

COMPLICATIONS SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY BY JEFFREY LO (Download PDF Here)

A group of friends at a bar.

You hear “Happy Birthday!” All around.

Then “1...2...3!”

They all start to sing “Happy Birthday.”

They all sing “Happy Birthday” the way you expect a group to sing “Happy Birthday.”

Everyone, except one person.

One of the people SINGS it.

And I mean SANGS it.

Riffs, Belts, All of it.

Everyone stops singing and lets them finish.

Once they are done.

Silence.

Then one person breaks the silence with, “Seriously?”

End of Play.

Two People Talk by Jeffrey Lo

TWO PEOPLE TALK BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

TWO PEOPLE.

ONE: What are you –

TWO: Trying to do?

ONE: Yes.

TWO: Unclear.

ONE: Unclear?

TWO: That’s what I said.

ONE: I heard ya.

TWO: So why’d you ask?

ONE: Good question.

TWO: I know.

ONE: Cocky.

TWO: What?

ONE: Cocky.

TWO: Psh.

ONE: Psh, yourself!

TWO: Cool.

ONE: What?

Pause.

ONE & TWO: I’m confused.

Pause.

ONE & TWO: Stop finishing my sentences!

Pause.

ONE & TWO: I hate this!

Pause.

ONE: PLEASE STOP!

Pause.

TWO smirks at ONE.

END OF PLAY.

Miss You Like Crazy by Jeffrey Lo

MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

HASSAN at the front door of his old best friend’s home.

HASSAN:

Hey man.

Yeah.

It’s me!

Hassan.

I know.

It’s been…

A while.

And I’m sorry about that.

Super sorry.

I know I just fell off the map like that but –

I didn’t mean to

Do that

You know

Fall out of your life like that?

(Beat)

So I’ve been on Facebook a lot lately.

And you came up.

On my screen.

There you were.

And it hit me.

There’s a lot of people who were in my life.

Then I fell out of it.

Like after I saw you, I looked at that mutual friends section.

Then I looked at the suggest friends section and it was…

Crazy.

People I knew.

People I thought I knew.

People who were a big part of…

Me.

You.

You were a big part of me.

And I’m not going to be able to go back to all of these people I saw on Facebook

That would be impossible.

But you.

You.

I can come back to you.

Because you are my friend.

Still.

And you are important.

Still.

And I just…

I could use more friends.

If you could.

SO yeah.

Anyway.

Hi.

END OF PLAY.

Blankets by Jeffrey Lo

BLANKETS BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

Lights up on an empty stage.

Silence.

A pistol falls from the sky with a WHAM!

A shotgun falls from the sky with a WHAP!

A sniper rifle falls from the sky with a BOOM!

An automatic assault rifle falls gently from the sky and makes no sound.

Silence.

Silence.

The sound of footsteps.

ERN enters.

ERN looks at all of the guns in front of him.

Silence.

ERN opens his mouth.

ERN cannot speak.

ERN does not know what to say.

ERN exits.

ERN returns.

ERN still cannot speak.

Silence.

ERN stares at the guns in front of him.

They won’t go away.

ERN exits.

ERN re-enters with a big blanket.

ERN with great fear, places the blanket over the guns, covering them.

ERN looks at the blanket on the ground.

ERN breaths.

ERN looks around.

ERN tentatively exits.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Then –

BOOM!

Blackout.

The sound of gunshots everywhere.

Then –

Silence.

Silence.

Silence. 

END OF PLAY.

Just in the Nick of Time by Jeffrey Lo

JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

JEFFREY:

Ok, so here's the thing.

I started this.

Then I -

An alarm buzzes.

JEFFREY:

Yeah.

Oops.

Out of time.

JEFFREY shrugs.

JEFFREY:

Not the end of the world.

Right?

...

I'll just keep telling myself that...

End of Play.

The Team by Jeffrey Lo

May 16 2018 - The Team.jpg

THE TEAM BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

The sound of sports talk radio.

It’s a bit loud.

A bit obnoxious.

Definitely more serious than it needs to be.

Lights up on the office of Coach TAYLOR, a basketball coach and PE teacher.

He is looking over past box scores for last year’s team.

As the radio hosts get louder, TAYLOR looks up from his box scores and turns the radio down.

TAYLOR goes back to the box scores.

The office door opens.

TAYLOR looks up and sees ROMAR, a squeamish 15 year old.

ROMAR seems scared to be here.

ROMAR: Coach.

TAYLOR: Yeah.

ROMAR: Can I… ?

TAYLOR: Yeah, of course. Um. Romar, right?

ROMAR: Yeah.

TAYLOR: Romar, good. Have a seat.

ROMAR takes a seat.

TAYLOR, without being too obvious, switches to his notes on ROMAR.

The sports talk radio hosts get even rowdier than they already were.

TAYLOR looks at the radio and turns it off.

TAYLOR: Sorry about that.

ROMAR: You listen to them a lot?

TAYLOR: The radio?

ROMAR: KNBR.

TAYLOR: Oh, KNBR? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Best way to hear about our local teams.

ROMAR: Yeah… totally…

TAYLOR: You listen?

ROMAR: No.

TAYLOR: Alright.

ROMAR: They always seem kinda… They’re too rowdy for me. They get loud.

TAYLOR: Oh well…

TAYLOR thinks about it.

TAYLOR: You’re probably right about that.

Beat.

TAYLOR: So what can I do for you, son?

Pause.

ROMAR: Umm…

Pause.

Pause.

TAYLOR: You can say what you need to, Romar. No need to be afraid.

ROMAR: Ok.

TAYLOR: What can I do for you?

ROMAR: Well… I wanted to…

ROMAR freezes again.

TAYLOR: Is it about the team list?

ROMAR nods his head.

ROMAR: Yeah.

TAYLOR: Right… I kind of figured.

ROMAR: You knew?

TAYLOR: Sure.

ROMAR: How did you know? Did someone –

TAYLOR: You’re the third guy to come through here today.

ROMAR: Oh.

TAYLOR: It’s only natural.

ROMAR: Right.

TAYLOR: Not everyone can make the team.

ROMAR: Uh huh.

TAYLOR: But everyone worked hard.

ROMAR: I did!

TAYLOR: I know, son.

Pause.

Beat.

TAYLOR glances at his papers for a quick moment.

TAYLOR: So what can I do for you?

ROMAR: Well –

TAYLOR: Did you want some feedback? A reason why?

ROMAN: Um –

TAYLOR: What you can do better next year?

ROMAN: No.

TAYLOR: No?

ROMAN: Well. I mean. I want to know how I can do better. Yes. But I’m not asking you how I can do better for next year.

Pause.

TAYLOR: What are you getting at, Romar?

ROMAR: I want you to reconsider.

TAYLOR: Reconsider?

ROMAR: I want you to reconsider putting me on the team.

TAYLOR: I’m not sure that I can do that –

ROMAR: But you have to –

TAYLOR: I’m sorry but –

ROMAR: I NEED YOU TO!

Pause.

Silence.

TAYLOR notices ROMAR’s breaths growing heavy.

TAYLOR: You need me to?

ROMAR: Yes.

TAYLOR: What do you mean, you need me to?

ROMAR: I mean… I really need to be on the team. I really, really need to be on the team. Please.

TAYLOR looks at his papers more.

TAYLOR: Why?

ROMAR: What?

TAYLOR: Why? Tell me why you need to be on the team? I don’t think you’re lying or anything but I think I need to know more than you’re giving me to actually consider this –

ROMAR: Because…

Pause.

ROMAR: Because… I’m good.

TAYLOR: Because you’re good?

ROMAR: Because I’m REALLY good.

TAYLOR: Is that so?

ROMAR: I am GREAT!

TAYLOR looks at ROMAR.

ROMAR is working so hard to keep it together.

TAYLOR looks at his papers one last time to remind him of ROMAR’s tryout performance.

TAYLOR puts the paper down.

TAYLOR: Romar…

ROMAR: Yes?

TAYLOR: You’re not great.

ROMAR: What?

TAYLOR: At basketball. You might be great at something else – hell, you probably are great at something else but – I’m looking at my notes here from your tryout and there is no mistaking it – you are not great at basketball. Do you think you’re great at basketball?

Pause.

ROMAR: No.

TAYLOR: You’re not even good at basketball.

ROMAR looks up at TAYLOR to feign surprise.

Beat.

ROMAR’s head drops back down.

ROMAR: I know…

Pause.

TAYLOR: Romar, tell me something.

ROMAR: Yeah?

TAYLOR: Do you love basketball?

ROMAR: Huh?

TAYLOR: Let me re-phrase that. Do you like basketball?

ROMAR: Why?

TAYLOR: Just answer the question.

ROMAR: … no.

TAYLOR: I didn’t think so.

ROMAR: What does that matter?

TAYLOR: You’re asking me to give you someone else’s spot on a basketball team and you’re asking me why  it’s important that you like basketball?

Beat.

TAYLOR: Romar.

ROMAR: Yeah?

TAYLOR: You said you need to be on the basketball team.

ROMAR: Yeah…

TAYLOR: When you said that, I believed you.

ROMAR: So?

TAYLOR: So tell me. Why do you need to be on the basketball team.

Pause.

ROMAR(Mumbling): Because I don’t want to disappoint my mom.

TAYLOR: What was that?

ROMAR: Because I don’t want to disappoint my mom.

TAYLOR: Because you don’t want to disappoint your mom…

ROMAR: Because my mom played basketball when she was in college and she loves it. It was so important to her to teach me how to play basketball. It made her so happy… And she isn’t happy that often. So if I’m on the basketball team… and basketball is a regular thing that I do… maybe her being happy will be regular too.

TAYLOR lets this all sink in.

TAYLOR: I see.

ROMAR: Look, I know I’m bad at basketball. And I don’t really like doing things I know I’m bad at. But I like her being happy so… Here I am.

Beat.

Silence.

TAYLOR: Alright. I’ll tell you what, Romar. I’ll put you on the team.

ROMAR: What?

TAYLOR: I’ll put you on the team.

ROMAR: Really?

TAYLOR: On the condition that you know I’m probably never going to play you unless you get better.

ROMAR: Got it.

TAYLOR: Even if we’re winning by 40 points, you’re not going in.

ROMAR: Fine.

TAYLOR: Maybe 50. But not 40.

ROMAR laughs.

TAYLOR: But you’ll get a jersey with a number and everything to show your mom.

ROMAR: Ok.

TAYLOR: Good. Now get out of here. 

ROMAR picks up his bag and starts to leave.

TAYLOR: Practice a free throw or something.

ROMAR stops.

ROMAR: Hey coach.

TAYLOR: Yeah?

ROMAR: What about the other kid whose spot I’m taking?

Pause.

TAYLOR: You’re not taking a spot. I keep one open… In case of special circumstances.

TAYLOR nods at ROMAR.

ROMAR exits.

The door closes behind him.

TAYLOR looks around at his office.

TAYLOR looks at his radio and turns it back on.

TAYLOR picks up his box scores and gets back to work.

Lights fade.

END OF PLAY.

Alone Before Alone by Jeffrey Lo

ALONE BEFORE ALONE BY JEFFREY LO (Download PDF Here)

CASSIDY sits on his phone.

For a long time.

Just twiddling his thumbs on his phone.

Suddenly -

Lighting strikes.

Right on CASSIDY.

CASSIDY drops dead.

End of Play.

So I by Jeffrey Lo

HIRO:

i missed you

so I came to you

Then I needed to breath

so I dove into air

then i felt zen

so I opened my eyes

Then I felt close

so I ran away

Then I felt empty

so I found fulfillment

The I felt scared

so I hid

then I felt lonely

so I stayed put

Pause.

so I stayed lonely.

End of Play.

 

Change by Jeffrey Lo

CHANGE BY JEFFREY LO (Download PDF Here)

MILLENIAL WOMAN walking down the streets of New York City. She passes HOMELESS WOMAN.

HOMELESS WOMAN: Spare some change?

MILLENIAL WOMAN: I’m so sorry, I going off a credit card.

HOMELESS WOMAN: I have square.

MILLENIAL WOMAN: Excuse me?

HOMELESS WOMAN: If you only have a credit card, I have square. You can pay me through square. There is a processing fee, though, so keep that in mind if you’re lying to me about the cash.

MILLENIAL WOMAN: Oh.

HOMELESS WOMAN takes out a phone with the Square attachment on it.

MILLENIAL WOMAN: SORRY!

HOMELESS WOMAN: Hm?

MILLENIAL WOMAN: When I say credit card, I mean I only have... do you take Apple Pay?

HOMELESS WOMAN: Oh... no...

MILLENIAL WOMAN: Sorry...

HOMELESS WOMAN: There are still a lot of businesses that haven’t adopted Apple Pay...

MILLENIAL WOMAN: I know, it’s a total drag.

MILLENIAL WOMAN starts to leave.

HOMELESS WOMAN: I do take Venmo.

MILLENIAL WOMAN: What?

HOMELESS WOMAN: Do you have Venmo?

MILLENIAL WOMAN: ....... yes.

HOMELESS WOMAN: I have Venmo too! Great!

MILLENIAL WOMAN: Great...

Pause.

MILLENIAL WOMAN sighs and takes out her phone.

MILLENIAL WOMAN: What’s your handle?

HOMELESS WOMAN: @StartUpVenture25

MILLENIAL WOMAN starts typing it into her phone to pay HOMELESS WOMAN.

Lights Fade.

Ebd of Play.