Gold Medal Tired / by Jeffrey Lo

Jan 21 2018 - Gold Medal Tired.jpg


Four millennial co-workers sitting in their office break room.

ONE: I am so tired.

TWO: Me too.

THREE: Sooooo tired.

FOUR: I am like, literally, SO TIRED.

They all let out a sigh. 

ONE: I am so tired I could sleep for ten hours straight.

TWO: I am so tired I could sleep for eleven hours straight.

THREE: I am so tired I could sleep for TWELVE hours straight.

ONE and TWO look at THREE, half in shock, half impressed.

FOUR: I am so tired, a single hour of sleep would feel like heaven.

ONE, TWO and THREE look at FOUR.

That was a good one.

FOUR wins. 

FOUR: Today, I had to juggle three projects at the same time.

TWO: Yesterday, I stayed in till 9 PM to finish the two projects assigned to me AT THE LAST SECOND and then when I came back at 6 AM today, management called me in to dump ANOTHER TWO PROJECTS on me. 

THREE and FOUR are impressed…

That is a LOT of projects.

ONE: With the six projects Amy put on my desk on Friday, I spent the whole weekend here working. Friday was an all nighter. Saturday, I was fortunate to get two hours of sleep. Sunday, I was going to get some sleep but then my mom called me because she was having trouble connecting her wi-fi to her new iPhone.

 TWO, THREE and FOUR gasp. 

ONE: Yeah… so Sunday… well… I’m still hoping to get my Sunday sleep in at some point…

THREE: It’s Tuesday…

ONE: It is indeed Tuesday…

ONE wins that round.

 ONE: I bet, this week I’ll get called into my other job.

THREE: I have to work my other job regularly just to pay the rent.

ONE, TWO and FOUR groan. 

FOUR: Rent…

TWO: Tell me about it.

ONE: The Bay Area is getting ridiculous.

THREE: Getting ridiculous? It’s been ridiculous for ages.

ONE: I have to pay $950 to share a 2 bedroom apartment with FOUR people.

TWO: I have to pay $1300 for an in-law unit in someone’s house without a washer, dryer OR kitchen.

THREE: Does it include utilities?


ONE: Sheesh…

FOUR: I pay $800 a month.

TWO: Where’d you get that deal?

ONE: That’s not too bad.

TWO: For a living room couch.

All four of them curse the Bay Area.

 THREE: I have to pay $2600 for the house I live in. Just to have a decent amount of space for me and my children.


ONE: You have children?

THREE: Yeah. You didn't know?

ONE: I must have been too busy and tired to pay attention.

TWO: How many?

THREE: Twins.


THREE: Twins.


ONE: Well, shit. You’re the most tired.

TWO: Yeah.

ONE: I can't have kids.

TWO: I just hate kids.

ONE, THREE and FOUR look at TWO - concerned.

TWO: I mean... "hate" is an exaggeration...

ONE, THREE and FOUR decide to let that one go.

FOUR: Yeah, I can’t deal with kids. I can barely deal with myself.

All four eat in silence for a moment.

All four let out a sigh. 

ALL FOUR: This talk was tiring…

All four look at the time.

All four get back to work.