Lessons / by Jeffrey Lo


An OLD WOMAN and an OLD MAN on stage.


OLD WOMAN: Sometimes, bad things happen to you but you can always have solace knowing that someday the person giving you trouble will someday die.


OLD MAN: When salting a steak, be sure to season all sides of it. Then let it sit before cooking it.


OLD WOMAN: If you don’t know what to do with yourself. Read a book.


OLD MAN: When varnishing a table. Don’t use too much varnish.


OLD WOMAN: When taking your driver’s test. Sign up for the DMV on Alma, not downtown. It’ll be easier to pass in the neighborhood around Alma.


OLD MAN: If you need to sneeze in a theatre… Just sneeze.


OLD WOMAN: If you’re listening to music in your car, and the other cars can hear it – it’s too loud.


OLD MAN: If you need to far in a theatre… you should leave.


OLD WOMAN: Stop looking at your cell phone so much.


OLD MAN: Don’t forget to call your mom.


OLD WOMAN: Life is a healthy balance of questioning everything and trusting the world.


OLD MAN: Know that I love you.


Lights fade.