LAST DAY AT LARRY'S BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
A bar called Larry’s.
EDWIN sitting alone at the bar.
He is sipping a whiskey on the rocks and reading a book.
Some smooth jazz plays in the background.
LARRY grabs a bottle of whiskey and puts it down next to EDWIN.
LARRY: Here you go bud.
EDWIN looks at the bottle.
EDWIN: What, am I supposed to pour it myself?
LARRY: I mean, you could drink it from the bottle if you want.
EDWIN: The bottle?
LARRY: That’s yours.
EDWIN: The whole bottle?
EDWIN: I wanted one more not a whole bottle.
LARRY: Well I gave you the whole bottle.
EDWIN: I’m not paying for the whole bottle.
LARRY: You’re not paying for the whole bottle.
EDWIN: What am I paying for?
LARRY: Nothing. It’s yours. The bottle is yours.
LARRY takes out a glass.
LARRY: But you have to share with me.
LARRY pours himself some whiskey.
LARRY: Because I want some too, goddamnit.
LARRY clinks his glass with EDWIN’s glass.
EDWIN: That’s not what I mean, Larry. You’re worrying me.
LARRY: How am I worrying you?
EDWIN: You just giving away all your stuff? You gonna kill yourself?
LARRY: No. I’m not gonna kill myself, Ed. What the hell do you think? And I’m not giving all my stuff away, I’m giving you a goddamn bottle of whiskey. What’s the big deal?
EDWIN: I’ve been paying for my whiskey here for over 10 years Larry that’s what the big deal is. I’m confused by it.
LARRY finishes his glass and refills it.
LARRY: As my most regular regular at the bar… I wanted to give you a gift. To say goodbye.
EDWIN: So you are killing yourself?
LARRY: What’s your obsession with me killing myself? Ain’t no one ever told your ass goodbye without it being a suicide note?
EDWIN: But –
LARRY: I’m closing the bar.
LARRY: I’m closing the bar, Ed.
LARRY: I can’t do it anymore. The upkeep, the service, the assholes, the rent… It’s becoming to expensive for me to keep running this place. Financially and emotionally.
EDWIN: You don’t like us at your bar?
LARRY: I like you at my bar. The others – they can fuck off. I like their money though.
LARRY: Well that’s no way to live, Ed. Dealing with people I want to fuck off just cause I need their money. That’s not a way to go about it. So today, for the one guy I do like around this place – I am going to give you something.
EDWIN: But Larry –
LARRY: Just take it and shut up.
LARRY: I’m gonna figure something else out. I turn 60 next week. I’ve been here for damn near 30 years. I gotta do something before it’s too late…
EDWIN: Will you keep in touch?
LARRY: Oh who knows. If it’s meant to be, I’ll see you around. If not then… it’s been nice knowing ya.
LARRY begins to exit.
LARRY: That’s all yours now so take it with you when you go. But you’re good to stay and read as long as you like. You won’t be able tomorrow so…
END OF PLAY.