SLEEPER'S LOVE OF SLEEP BY JEFFREY LO
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An open mic night.
SLEEPER approaches the stage.
SLEEPER:
Hello.
This is my…
I don’t know.
I dedicate this to the best thing about life.
Sleep.
Oh sleep.
Oh ohsleep.
How I love thee.
Sleep.
Fuck counting sheep.
Because if I’m counting sheep I am not with you –
Sleep.
And I want to be with you, sleep.
Always sleep.
There isn’t enough I can say about you, sleep.
Because I love thee.
Sleep.
I would sleep with thee.
Sleep.
If you weren’t already sleep.
Sleep.
If you stare at the word sleep for long enough –
Suddenly, a voice from the audience yells –
VOICE:
IF YOU KEEP ON WITH THIS BULLSHIT WE WILL ALL FALL ASLEEP.
Pause.
Beat.
SLEEPER:
Then you’re welcome.
SLEEPER leaves the stage.
END OF PLAY.