You Are You and I Am Me / by Jeffrey Lo

April 7 2018 - You Are You and I Am Me.jpg


A WAITER leads JESS and SAM to their table at a nice dinner.

WAITER: Follow me this way, the table is just over here.

JESS: Wow this is a great table!

WAITER: It’s our most popular table.

JESS: How did we end up with it?

WAITER: Your date set it up.

SAM smiles at JESS.

WAITER helps them to their seats.

WAITER: I’ll be back with some waters. Would you like anything else to drink?

JESS: Water is good for me.

SAM: Me as well, thank you.

WAITER nods and exits.

JESS: This place seems really great. Have you been before?

SAM: No but a good friend recommended it so I thought we could give it a try.

JESS: Well I’m looking forward to it.

SAM: Thank you for joining me.

JESS: Of course, I was glad to hear from you.

SAM nods.

Pause. Beat.

SAM: Can I ask you a question?

JESS: Of course, Sam.

SAM: Why are you here?

JESS: I’m sorry?

SAM: Why are you here. With me. Um.

JESS: I don’t understand.

SAM: Me either. That’s why I’m asking you.

JESS: No, I mean, I don’t understand your question.

SAM: I don’t understand why you are here with me.

JESS: Because you asked me to dinner.

SAM: I know but –

JESS: But…?

SAM: It doesn’t make sense.

JESS: What doesn’t make sense?

SAM: …

JESS: Sam…

SAM: Oh my god.

JESS: What?

SAM: Oh my god. Ohmygod.

JESS: Sam?

SAM: Did you not realize I was asking you on a… I tried to be very explicit about the fact that I was interested in a… But sometimes it’s hard to know. How can I expect you to realize I wanted to take you on a… Well this is terribly embarrassing. I can’t believe I… I should have.


SAM: Yes?

JESS: Breath and try to finish a thought. What do you think I don’t think this is?

SAM: Do you think this is a date?

JESS: Yes.

SAM: Oh.

JESS: Of course I think this is a date.

SAM: You do?

JESS: You were quite clear about it. Here let me –

JESS pulls out her cellphone.

JESS: Your text: “Jess, Would you like to go to dinner with me?” My text: “Sure that, sounds lovely.” Your text: “Just to be clear, I mean a dinner that is also a date.” My text: “Understood.”

SAM: Good. Clear. Concise.

JESS: So yes, Sam, I know this a date.

SAM: Ok…

JESS: Why are you asking?

SAM: Because… Because…

WAITER enters with waters.

Before WAITER gets to say anything –

SAM: More time please!

WAITER nods his head and exits.

SAM: Because… I guess. You are you and I am me.

JESS: … Yes.

SAM: And because you are you and I am me. I don’t understand why you would want to go on a date with me.

JESS: Why wouldn’t I?

SAM: Because – you’re so great. Everyone loves you.

JESS: And how do people feel about you?

SAM: I don’t know? Medium.

JESS: Well, how do I feel about you?

SAM: I don’t know.

JESS: That’s right. You don’t know. And honestly, I’m hoping we can figure it out. (Pause) And I’m hoping you can figure out how you feel about me –

SAM: I –

JESS: Because you don’t know that either.


SAM nods his head.

WAITER enters.

WAITER: More time?

JESS: Yes, please. Thank you.

WAITER nods his head and exits.

JESS: Alright Sam. Let’s look at the menus, shall we?