Eulogy / by Jeffrey Lo

EULOGY BY JEFFREY LO (Downlod PDF Here)

Eugene:

Hey everybody.

Thanks for, um, coming.

I see some of you crying out there.

Sorry about that.

I guess I should kinda feel, I dunno, the same.

But, like, let’s be real here.

Like super real.

Dad was kind of an ass.

I mean, am I right?

Come on.

You know I’m right.

Don’t lie to yourself.

I mean, you don’t have to stop crying or anything.

A guy died.

That’s sad. 

No matter how you put that, that’s sad. You know?

...

Actually. I guess...

Unless it was Hitler.

That wouldn’t be so sad.

Unless you were his mom.

That’d be sad.

Unless she knew he was a totally crazy man doing terrible things...

Maybe she’d be relieved, right?

...

...

Dad wasn’t Hitler, though.

So I guess it’s sad.

Oh God...

Am I crying...?

Oh God...

i guess it is...

i guess I am...

shit.

sad.

ugh.

i gotta go.

thanks for coming.

um

yeah

bye.