TIYAANAH & DREW BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
A park.
Sitting alone on a bench is TIYAANAH.
TIYAANAH, 29 years old, is wearing a nice pink silk robe.
Her name is embroidered onto the back of the robe.
She definitely sticks out sitting here alone in a public park.
TIYAANAH closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
…
After a moment DREW enters.
DREW, 31 years old, is wearing a full suit and is carrying two ice cream cones.
DREW: You wanted coconut in a waffle cone right? Or was it coffee in a sugar cone?
TIYAANAH: Which one did you get?
DREW: I got both and figured whichever one was the wrong one was for me.
TIYAANAH: You’re the best.
DREW: Trying to be.
They kiss.
DREW: I was pretty sure it was coconut.
TIYAANAH: Coffee.
DREW: Damnit.
TIYAANAH: In a waffle cone.
DREW: Double damnit! Um…
DREW looks at the coffee ice cream sitting on the wrong cone.
DREW: I can fix this…
TIYAANAH: Sugar cone is fine.
DREW: You sure?
TIYAANAH: Yes. It’s not a big deal.
DREW sits next to TIYAANAH and hands her the ice cream.
TIYAANAH: Thank you for this.
DREW: Sorry.
TIYAANAH: Don’t be. All I wanted was to be sitting with my husband. And here he is. So thank you for that too.
TIYAANAH puts her head on DREW’s shoulder.
They sit in a comfortable, happy silence.
Beat.
DREW: I mean… I’m not your husband yet.
TIYAANAH: I know, I know…
DREW: But soon, enough.
TIYAANAH: It feels like forever from now.
DREW: I mean, it’ll be today.
TIYAANAH: What’ll be today?
DREW: Our wedding.
TIYAANAH: Will it be? I lost track. I forgot that all of this fuss was supposed to be for us.
DREW: Hm. Yeah… I feel that too.
TIYAANAH looks at DREW.
TIYAANAH: You got ready fast.
DREW: Yeah. A lot less prep goes into me, it seems.
TIYAANAH: And the rest of the guys.
DREW: All suited up. Playing Switch back at the hotel.
TIYAANAH: Are they gonna look for you?
DREW: They’re playing Switch at the hotel.
TIYAANAH: The girls are probably all freaking out looking for me.
DREW: Hah, yeah I bet.
TIYAANAH: They’ll be fine. I need my alone time.
DREW stands up as a joke.
DREW: Oh should I - ?
TIYAANAH: Sit down. You know what I mean, dummy.
DREW sits.
DREW: This has kinda sucked, huh?
TIYAANAH nods her head.
DREW: Yeah… I’m sorry about that.
TIYAANAH: It’s not your fault our families are filled with crazy, self-centered monsters crawling around the Hilton like the first layer of hell.
DREW: Wow… That was quite a picture.
TIYAANAH: I’ve been thinking about it for a while.
DREW: Yeah... This wedding doesn’t totally seem like usdoes it?
TIYAANAH: No.
Beat.
DREW: What would that look like?
TIYAANAH: What?
DREW: An uswedding. What would a wedding – stripped away of any of the family and expectation – look like? A wedding that – hold onto your robe – was actually aboutyou and me?
TIYAANAH: Huh. Wow.
DREW: I know.
TIYAANAH: Hard to even picture.
DREW: Is it?
TIYAANAH: What do you mean?
DREW: I can picture that version of our wedding pretty easily. Close your eyes.
TIYAANAH gives DREW a look.
DREW: Just close them.
TIYAANAH closes her eyes.
They sit together.
DREW: Now open them.
TIYAANAH opens her eyes.
DREW: Here we are.
TIYAANAH: What are you talking about?
DREW: Here we are at the wedding that is actually for us. Here it is. It’s you. It’s me. It’s nobody else.
TIYAANAH smiles.
DREW: I have an idea.
TIYAANAH: Another idea?
DREW: Let’s get married.
TIYAANAH: We are getting married.
DREW: No but like, not the way we were going to get married.
TIYAANAH: What are you talking about?
DREW: Let’s get married now.
TIYAANAH: Now?
DREW: Like now now. Like – before 5:30, now.
TIYAANAH: But everyone’s waiting for us.
DREW: Well they can keep waiting for us. We can go to city hall and just do it.
TIYAANAH: You need an appointment for that.
DREW: You do?
TIYAANAH: Yes.
DREW: … well shit… That’s too bad.
Pause.
They both burst into laughter.
DREW: That would’ve been cool though, wouldn’t it? Just up and getting married. Running away from everyone like – FUCK YOU GUYS!
TIYAANAH: Hahaha, you’re ridiculous.
DREW: Ridiculously in love with you.
TIYAANAH shoots DREW a look.
DREW: That sounded better in my head.
TIYAANAH: You need to get your head checked…
DREW: Yeah, checked for a concussion.
TIYAANAH: I said I was sorry!
DREW: I don’t even understand how you can turn in bed that quickly. Your elbow hit my forehead at like at least 70 miles per hour.
TIYAANAH laughs and kisses DREW’s forehead.
TIYAANAH: Does it still hurt.
DREW: Yes! I don’t have a vibranium skull.
They laugh.
As the laughter dies down they hold hands.
TIYAANAH: I love you.
DREW: I love you too.
TIYAANAH: Shall we go get married?
DREW: I don’t have an appointment.
TIYAANAH: We have an appointment at 5:30.
DREW: With all the scary people?
TIYAANAH: With all the scary people…
DREW: Well… good thing I reallywanna marry you. Makes fighting off those scary people worth it…
END OF PLAY.