N.E.R.D. / by Jeffrey Lo


CHIVY sitting cross legged in the middle of a dog pound.

Dogs bark all around her.

Dogs jump through her.


Oh, that was cool huh?

The dog jumped THROUGH me.

Like I’m not actually here.

How did that happen, you ask?

Because, I’m not actually here.

Well, no. Not totally true.

I am here.

But NOT here.

I’m not making sense.

Let me explain.

So – lesson one – when you die, you kind of just stay where you died.

Your physical being moves, but the rest of you – the important stuff – stays put.

You can imagine how crowded hospitals must get.

I can’t go to one in my current state but I imagine it’s miserable.


I died here.

A puppy pound.

I know.

Weird right?

Thing is, I don’t eat well.


I didn’t eat well.

Like. Ever.

So… the heart attack was… ummm… bound to happen.

Anyway, I’d been feeling lonely of late and thought I needed some companionship.

So I came here to adopt a pup.

I walked in and one pup really spoke to me.

I looked at ‘em.

They looked at me.

They jumped up, tongue out, tail wagging.

I was so happy to meet them.

Then boom.

Heart attack.

Right on the spot.

Took a bit of time for an ambulance to get here.

By the time they did – too late.

Dead on arrival.

So hear I am.

With all of these here pups…

Mine got adopted the next day.

So ‘em picked right before my eyes…

I would’ve named ‘em Misty…