Lose/Lose / by Jeffrey Lo


ONE and TWO in a car.

ONE is the driver.

TWO is the passenger.

ONE: How are you doing today?

TWO: How would you like me to answer that?

ONE: What?

TWO: I am tired. How would you like me to answer you when you ask me how I’m doing today?

ONE: With the truth, I suppose.

TWO: You would like me to tell you that I’m tired?

ONE: I guess so, yeah.

TWO: So you want me to do be tired?

ONE: No, that’s not what I said.

TWO: But you told me you would like me to say I’m tired.

ONE: If you’re tired I want you to say you’re tired. Meaning, I just want you to tell the truth.

TWO: Are you calling me a liar?

ONE: No.

TWO: Then why are you telling me you would like me to tell the truth.

ONE: Because you asked –

TWO: If you didn’t think I was a liar, wouldn’t you assume I was telling the truth no matter what?

ONE: Look, you asked how I wanted you to respond when I asked how you were doing today.

TWO: And wouldn’t the basic assumption be that whatever I said would be the truth.

ONE: Maybe I didn’t want to make any assumptions. No matter how basic.

TWO: Because you think I’m stupid?

ONE: What!? NO!

TWO: Then why wouldn’t you just skip the basics with me like you would with anyone else?

ONE: I never said I would skip the basics with anyone else.

TWO: Would you?

ONE: I don’t know. Probably not.

TWO: Why are you sugar coating things for me? Do you think I’m mentally weak?

ONE: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

ONE hits the break.

TWO: What are you doing?

ONE: Maybe I’m the one mentally week.

ONE turns the car off and unbuckles the seatbelt.

TWO: Where are you going?

ONE: Away!

ONE leaves the car and slams the door behind them.

TWO sits alone in the car.