LOSE/LOSE BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
ONE and TWO in a car.
ONE is the driver.
TWO is the passenger.
ONE: How are you doing today?
TWO: How would you like me to answer that?
TWO: I am tired. How would you like me to answer you when you ask me how I’m doing today?
ONE: With the truth, I suppose.
TWO: You would like me to tell you that I’m tired?
ONE: I guess so, yeah.
TWO: So you want me to do be tired?
ONE: No, that’s not what I said.
TWO: But you told me you would like me to say I’m tired.
ONE: If you’re tired I want you to say you’re tired. Meaning, I just want you to tell the truth.
TWO: Are you calling me a liar?
TWO: Then why are you telling me you would like me to tell the truth.
ONE: Because you asked –
TWO: If you didn’t think I was a liar, wouldn’t you assume I was telling the truth no matter what?
ONE: Look, you asked how I wanted you to respond when I asked how you were doing today.
TWO: And wouldn’t the basic assumption be that whatever I said would be the truth.
ONE: Maybe I didn’t want to make any assumptions. No matter how basic.
TWO: Because you think I’m stupid?
ONE: What!? NO!
TWO: Then why wouldn’t you just skip the basics with me like you would with anyone else?
ONE: I never said I would skip the basics with anyone else.
TWO: Would you?
ONE: I don’t know. Probably not.
TWO: Why are you sugar coating things for me? Do you think I’m mentally weak?
ONE: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
ONE hits the break.
TWO: What are you doing?
ONE: Maybe I’m the one mentally week.
ONE turns the car off and unbuckles the seatbelt.
TWO: Where are you going?
ONE leaves the car and slams the door behind them.
TWO sits alone in the car.
END OF PLAY.