THE 2026 PROJECT, 52 SUNDAYS, 52 MONOLOGUES
The Mess
BY JEFFREY LO
For PDF of the Monologue, Click Here
RACHEL
You know that moment when you are cleaning your home and it looks worse before it gets better?
That’s what my house looks like right now.
Big time.
At least I hope that’s the moment I’m in.
Because that means it’s about to get better.
But truthfully, I’m a little worried it’s not going to get better.
I’m worried it’s going to just keep getting worst.
And even scarier, it’ll just stay like that.
Like this moment of it gets worst before it gets better is just some foolish optimism and like… actually, this is just my life now.
This is how I live.
In this mess.
…
…
…
I’m not talking about my house.
Clearly.
I mean, I am kind of talking about my house.
Because I am, in fact, cleaning my house.
But I truthfully I am cleaning my house as a way to feel like I am getting some sort of control of my life.
Perpetually cleaning.
Perpetually trying to gain control.
But it keeps getting messier and messier and worst and worst.
…
My house.
And.
My life.
God.
…
It’ll get better.
…
Right?
…
Both the house and the life.
Maybe it’s true that once I get this house in order my life will be in order.
Once I am happy with my space, I can be happy with my life.
That’s how this works.
I think.
…
I don’t know.
…
Oh gosh, now that I think of it my mom was cleaning constantly and lived in a pristine home but she seemed SO unhappy all the time.
Am I doing the same thing?
Am I just becoming my mother?
I hated how much she made me clean all of the time when I just wanted to live my life.
Oh god.
I’m becoming my –
No.
I can’t make this about her.
Everything is always about her.
Even when I’m in therapy which I pay a LOT of money for to unpack MY problems, it always becomes about her again which seems incredibly unfair to me.
She can occupy my brain space for free, thank you very much.
…
Where was I?
I was cleaning.
That’s right.
I was cleaning.
Why am I not cleaning?
Why am I just talking to myself?
I’m losing it.
You know what will prevent me from losing it?
Getting rid of all of this clutter.
That will fix everything.
I’m going to go solve that now.
That will fix everything…
…
…
Right?
END.