Eat The Cake / by Jeffrey Lo


JARED and ALEX, are tasting a potential cake for their wedding.

ALEX takes a bite.

ALEX: Mmmm!

JARED: Do you think people like wedding cake?

ALEX puts a piece on the fork and tries to feed some to JARED.

ALEX: Try this one.

JARED: Like, I know people usually eat the wedding cake but don’t you ever notice how much of the wedding cake is left over?

ALEX: Jared.

JARED: Cause I’ve noticed A LOT of the wedding cake is usually left over. And trust me, I’ve been to a lot of weddings this summer.

ALEX: Jared.

JARED: I know, I know, you’ve been to them too. Seeing as how we went to them together.

ALEX: Honey.

JARED: And I clocked it. I noticed it. I noticed that there is always cake left over at the wedding. 

ALEX is still holding the fork to JARED’s face. 

ALEX: Eat the cake.

JARED: People are leaving the wedding venue.

ALEX: Eat the cake.

JARED: And they all pass by an entire table of cut up, destroyed, wedding cake.

ALEX: Eat the cake.

JARED: Do they take the cake with them?

ALEX: Eat the cake.


ALEX: Eat the cake.

JARED: They sure do take the centerpieces.

ALEX: EatTheCakeEatTheCake.

JARED: People sure love to take the centerpieces home with them.

ALEX: EatTheCakeEatTheCakeEatTheCake.

JARED: But maybe I’m just noticing this because we’re getting married. And we’re trying to figure out what we should do with our cake situation….

ALEX: Seriously?

JARED: And trust me, I take the cake decision very seriously –

ALEX: EAT THE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JARED finally stops and pays attention to ALEX.

JARED: Did you say something?

ALEX takes the forkful of cake and smashes it in JARED’s face.

ALEX: Eat that. For god’s sakes. EAT THAT.

JARED takes a finger of the cake from his face and puts it in his mouth.


JARED: Um. It’s ok.

ALEX throws her arms in the air.