EAT THE CAKE BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)
JARED and ALEX, are tasting a potential cake for their wedding.
ALEX takes a bite.
ALEX: Mmmm!
JARED: Do you think people like wedding cake?
ALEX puts a piece on the fork and tries to feed some to JARED.
ALEX: Try this one.
JARED: Like, I know people usually eat the wedding cake but don’t you ever notice how much of the wedding cake is left over?
ALEX: Jared.
JARED: Cause I’ve noticed A LOT of the wedding cake is usually left over. And trust me, I’ve been to a lot of weddings this summer.
ALEX: Jared.
JARED: I know, I know, you’ve been to them too. Seeing as how we went to them together.
ALEX: Honey.
JARED: And I clocked it. I noticed it. I noticed that there is always cake left over at the wedding.
ALEX is still holding the fork to JARED’s face.
ALEX: Eat the cake.
JARED: People are leaving the wedding venue.
ALEX: Eat the cake.
JARED: And they all pass by an entire table of cut up, destroyed, wedding cake.
ALEX: Eat the cake.
JARED: Do they take the cake with them?
ALEX: Eat the cake.
JARED: No.
ALEX: Eat the cake.
JARED: They sure do take the centerpieces.
ALEX: EatTheCakeEatTheCake.
JARED: People sure love to take the centerpieces home with them.
ALEX: EatTheCakeEatTheCakeEatTheCake.
JARED: But maybe I’m just noticing this because we’re getting married. And we’re trying to figure out what we should do with our cake situation….
ALEX: Seriously?
JARED: And trust me, I take the cake decision very seriously –
ALEX: EAT THE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JARED finally stops and pays attention to ALEX.
JARED: Did you say something?
ALEX takes the forkful of cake and smashes it in JARED’s face.
ALEX: Eat that. For god’s sakes. EAT THAT.
JARED takes a finger of the cake from his face and puts it in his mouth.
Pause.
JARED: Um. It’s ok.
ALEX throws her arms in the air.
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.