Self Narration by Jeffrey Lo

June 11 2018 - Self Narration.jpg

SELF NARRATION BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

A workplace cafeteria. Sitting at a table is GUY.

GUY is writing in a small notebook. After a moment, he stops and puts it away.

GUY: The plan was to write for most of my lunch break. The tiresome drudging that weighed me down workday to workday made satisfying my artistic pursuits quite difficult. So I made a goal for myself: write for most of my lunch break. My plan, however, has been interrupted a mere 2 minutes into the execution of said plan by the persistent grumbling of my stomach…

I am hungry.

Today is day one of this goal. Day one (and therefore the goal) are not going so well.

He takes out a paper bag.

GUY:  I reached over to my side and picked up my wrinkled brown paper bag which contained my lunch. A brown paper bag. It is what my mother did and therefore what I did. Which… never mind. That is a different matter and a different story. I will get to that later on in my career. Inside the paper bag is my trusty egg salad sandwich. My reliable, delicious piece of –

GIRL enters carrying her lunch and a book.

GUY: Then, the most beautiful and charming girl walks into the cafeteria. Although I have not heard her speak a single word, I knew – I just knew– that she was the most charming woman to walk the face of this earth. Ok, truth be told, I did not know. I had no way of knowing but what I didknow was that she was just… Beautiful…. Stunning… and Probably/Hopefully Charming.

GIRL turns to GUY for a brief glance. 

GUY does a poor job of hiding that he was admiring her.

GUY:Talk to her. I should –  No. I owe it to myself to talk to her. Perhaps I owe it to herto talk to her. A casual, “hello” should do. Yes. I am going to do that. I am going to –

GIRL: Excuse me?

GUY: Yes?

GIRL: I can hear you.

…Silence… 

…Beat… 

…Pause…

GUY:… Oh…

END OF PLAY.

Filled With Joy by Jeffrey Lo

FILLED WITH JOY BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

MIA standing among us.

MIA:

Imagine.

Joy.

Imagine.

Us.

Filled with joy.

The soup in the dumpling you eat.

Filled with joy.

The air in the basketball you shoot.
Filled with joy.

The air between the glance we share.

Filled with joy.

The air we exhale as we laugh.

Filled with joy.

The love between us.

Filled with joy.

The coffee cup.

Filled with joy.

And Caffeine.

But also joy.

The news.

Filled with joy.

The churches. The temples. The mosques. The homes of everyone in between and around it.

Filled with joy.

Every country in the world.

Filled with joy.

Imagine.

Aspire.

It’s impossible.

But aspire.

Let our aspirations

Be

Filled

With

Joy.

END OF PLAY.

Loser Joy by Jeffrey Lo

June 9 2018 - Loser Joy.jpg

LOSER JOY BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

Lights up on TACHIS and LO mid-hug.

It’s a long, intimate and emotional hug.

TACHIS gives LO a couple of pats on the back.

LO takes a deep breath.

TACHIS: I know… I know…

LO and TACHIS continue to hug.

LO: We did it…

TACHIS: We did…

TACHIS and LO continue to hug.

TACHIS: It feels incredible…

Finally… they release the hug.

LO: We won the Championship.

TACHIS: We did it again.

LO: Steph Curry.

TACHIS: Kevin Durant.

LO: Draymond.

TACHIS: Klay

LO: Iggy.

TACHIS: JAVAAAAALE MCGEEEEEEE.

LO: Steve Kerr.

TACHIS: And us.

LO: And us…

TACHIS: We won another championship.

LO and TACHIS perform an elaborate and unnecessarily lengthy celebration handshake.

The handshake includes some hand slaps, fist bumps, jumps and Jay-Z “ugh” sound effects.

TACHIS: And it feels just as good as the first championship.

A weird high pitched sound comes out of LO.

TACHIS: What?

LO: Huh?

TACHIS: What was that?

LO: What was what?

TACHIS: That sound. You made a –

TACHIS recreates the weird high pitches sound remarkable well.

LO: Oh.

TACHIS: That. That sound came out of you.

LO: Did it?

TACHIS: Yes.

LO: Ok.

TACHIS: What does that mean?

LO: Look up in the dictionary.

TACHIS: Look it up in the dictionary?

LO: Yeah, look it up in the dictionary.

TACHIS: I’m not stupid, man, that’s not in the dictionary.

LO: You’re right.

TACHIS: So what did that mean?

Silence.

TACHIS: Dude.

LO: Well…

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

LO: Does it?

TACHIS: What?

LO: Does it feel as good as the first championship?

Silence.

TACHIS: I don’t follow.

LO: Do we feel as good right now as we did when the dubs won their first championship?

Silence.

TACHIS does not lose eye contact with LO.

LO: Think about it –

TACHIS: I am thinking about it –

LO: Calm down –

TACHIS: I AM CALM.

LO: Hear me out…

TACHIS takes a deep breath.

LO: We feel incredible right now.

TACHIS: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING.

LO: Right. But.

TACHIS: BUT!?

LO: But... remember when the Warriors would win like… 20 games.

TACHIS: In a row?

LO: In an entire year.

Pause.

TACHIS: Yeah, I remember those time… Those were dark times.

LO: But how did we feel when they earned one of those 20 wins?

TACHIS: We felt great.

LO: We felt incredible.

TACHIS: What are you getting at?

LO: What I’m getting at is that 20 times a year, you and I would feel euphoric over a Warriors win because they pretty much never happened. Right?

TACHIS: Yeah…

LO: But now… we went an entire season and felt pretty good all season but didn’t reach that euphoric joy we felt when we were losers until –

TACHIS: Until now.

LO: Until now… We weren’t going to feel this until we were champions. But back in the day. Back in the loser days. We got this joy 20, maybe 25 times a year because any win was an unexpected win.

Silence.

TACHIS: Well shit…

LO: Now remember how unexpected it was when they actually won a championship.

TACHIS: Out of nowhere.

LO: It didn’t make sense.

TACHIS: We didn’t know what to do with ourselves.

LO: We cried.

TACHIS: We cried…

LO feels his cheeks.

LO: Today… my cheeks are dry.

LO feels TACHIS’ cheeks.

LO: And yours are too…

TACHIS collapses into his chair.

TACHIS: Goddamn man…

LO: I know… I hate to admit it but… I kind of miss the joys of being a loser.

Beat.

LO takes out two bottles of champagne from his backpack.

LO: Time for the champagne shower?

TACHIS: No… I don’t feel like it anymore… Way to ruin the championship.

TACHIS sulks his way off stage.

Lights fade.

END OF PLAY.

Stuck by Jeffrey Lo

STUCK BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

EVREN:

I have a notebook.

I have a pen.

I want a happy thought.

But

I have you.

And

I have you.

And then there

I have you.

I have a notebook.

I have a pen.

I have you.

            (Pause)

Terrible.

Stuck.

Cannot move.

Cannot think.

Cannot.

Cannot.

Can.

Not.

            (Pause)

Shit.

            (Looks at the pen)

Useless.
Useless without a thought.

Useless when all I have is you.
And you.

And you.

No room for thoughts with so many of you.
Crowded.

I hate it when it’s crowded and now here we are.

My brain.

Crowded.

What a joke,

What a sick joke.

            (Looks at the notebook)

I’m desperate to put something happy in this.

But.

But.

But.

No.

I NEED a joke.

I NEED a laugh.

I NEED a…

Smile.

But.

Empty.

Empty.

Empty.

Stuck.

Stuck.

Stuck.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Good…

Bye.

END OF PLAY.

Long by Jeffrey Lo

June 7 2018 - Long.jpg

LONG BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

Lights rise on a public men’s restroom.

As lights rise, QUANG is already at a urinal peeing.

His urine flow is quite strong.

This is onlu relevant as to say that you can definitely here the pee hitting the urinal.

Boy is his pee hitting that urinal and boy is it GOING.

Six seconds pass.
Then GERRY enters the restroom.

QUANG looks back at the restroom entrance and sees GERRY.

GERRY stands at the urinal next to QUANG and unzips his pants.

QUANG and GERRY quietly and respectfully nod at each other.

The nod of two men with their penises out, trying to hold onto their masculinity.

Eleven seconds pass.
All we hear in those eleven seconds are the sounds of two urine flows. 

GERRY is finishes peeing.

He zips his zipper then notices…

QUANG is still peeing.

It hits GERRY…

QUANG was peeing before GERRY entered.

GERRY doesn’t know how long QUANG was peeing before he entered.
We don’t know how long QUANG was peeing before the lights rose.

5 seconds pass.

GERRY stands there, waiting for the madness to end.

QUANG is still peeing.

The urine flow is still strong.

5 more seconds pass.

This is too much for GERRY.

GERRY: DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK?

QUANG: What?

QUANG looks at GERRY, confused.

QUANG keeps peeing.

Lights fade as we continue to hear the sound of QUANG’s unbelievable urine flow.

END OF PLAY.

Laughter For a Moment by Jeffrey Lo

June 6 2018 - Laughter for a Moment.jpg

LAUGHTER FOR A MOMENT BY JEFFREY LO
(DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

A tight spotlight on MOIRA.

MOIRA’s eyes are closed.

We hear a cacophony of sounds.

The sound of responsibilities.

The sound of the news.

The sound of cancer.

The sound of family problems.

The sound of struggle.

The sound of money.

All in one.

One terrible sound.

MOIRA opens her eyes.

Then all of the noise goes away.

Then the lights expand.

We are in MOIRA’s apartment.

MOIRA’s breathing is heavy.

MOIRA looks around.

She manically runs to her computer.

She logs off Facebook.

She logs off Twitter.

She logs off Instagram.

She logs off Snapchat.

She runs to her phone.

She deletes her podcasts.

She runs to her television.

She turns off cable news.

She runs to her radio.

She turns off the music.

She stops.

She pauses.

She lies down in bed.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence

MOIRA takes a deep breath.

MOIRA bursts into laughter.

For just a few moments, MOIRA lets herself laugh.

Lights fade. 

END OF PLAY.

People on Blocks by Jeffrey Lo

June 5 2018 - People on Blocks.jpg

PEOPLE ON BLOCKS BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

Busy city streets.

Maybe New York?

Probably New York.

The streets are so busy that any normal human being would be overwhelmed.

Yeah, it’s New York.

On these sidewalks are people.

Lots of people.

A variety of people.

A variety of people you would find in New York.

They walk and walk and walk.

They weave around each other like ants scrambling from destination to destination.

They don’t look at each other.

Most of them have earbuds on.

Suddenly, lights dim and everyone freezes.

One by one, a light shines on different people in the crowd as they speak.

PERSON 1: God I don’t want to go to work today.

PERSON 2: I hope I nail this job interview.

PERSON 3: I need to finish that project…

PERSON 4: I wish I had a job…

PERSON 5: First day. Here goes nothing. 

Then suddenly FLASH!

Lights come back up and everyone starts moving as hectic as ever.

Some time passes.

Maybe like… 10 seconds.

Then, again, lights dim and everyone freezes.

One by one, a light shines on different people in the crowd as they speak.

PERSON 6: I wonder where she’s going to take me tonight…

PERSON 7: Shit, I didn’t mean to swipe right!

PERSON 8: Ugh… I thought I wasn’t the type of person to ghost someone but… ugh…

PERSON 9: I’m going to ask her out today.

PERSON 10: I’m going to get drunk and fuck him tonight.

PERSON 11: I’m going to go home and watch Netflix alone tonight.

Then suddenly FLASH!

Lights come back up and everyone starts moving as hectic as ever.

Some time passes.

Maybe like… 15 seconds.

Then, again, lights dim and everyone freezes.

One by one, a light shines on different people in the crowd as they speak.

PERSON 12: I hope Dad is sober by the time I get home…

PERSON 13: I’m so tired.

PERSON 14: I’m so sad.

PERSON 15: I’m so bored.

PERSON 16: I hate my life…

PERSON 17: Keep it together… keep it together…

PERSON 18: I better buy some gum.

Then suddenly FLASH!

Lights come back up and everyone starts moving as hectic as ever.

Some time passes.

Maybe like… 2 seconds.

Then, again, lights dim and everyone freezes.

A light shines on one person.

PERSON 19: I’m hungry.

Then suddenly FLASH!

Lights come back up and everyone starts moving as hectic as ever.

Some time passes.

Maybe like… 30 seconds.

Then, again, lights dim and everyone freezes.

One by one, a light shines on different people in the crowd as they speak. 

PERSON 18: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 2: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 15: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 9: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 19: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 13: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 11: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

PERSON 5: Everyone else seems to have their life together.

Suddenly the whole theatre is filled with a cacophony of people all saying –

“Everyone else seems to have their life together.”

They start walking again as they keep repeating over and over –

“Everyone else seems to have their life together.”

Then…

Blackout. 

END OF PLAY.

Where Am I? by Jeffrey Lo

June 4 2018 - Where Am I.jpg

WHERE AM I? BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

La Guardia Airport.

WILLIAM enters from the gate tunnel, he just arrived on a flight that began in Los Angeles.

WILLIAM yawns.

WILLIAM stretches his back.

WILLIAM stretches his neck.

WILLIAM looks at his watch.

He nods at the time.

WILLIAM looks at his phone to check his car rental reservation.

WILLIAM notices something.

WILLIAM checks the time on his phone.

WILLIAM checks the time on his watch.

Pause.

WILLIAM yawns.

WILLIAM checks the time on his phone.

WILLIAM checks the time on his watch.

WILLIAM yawns again.

Pause.

WILLIAM panics.

Pause.

WILLIAM checks the time on his watch.

WILLIAM checks the time on his phone.

Pause.

WILLIAM remembers the travel time.

WILLIAM calms down.

WILLIAM smiles.

WILLIAM realizes he forgot his carryon luggage on the plane.

WILLIAM: Oh Shit!

WILLIAM runs back onto the plane.

END OF PLAY.

Blank by Jeffrey Lo

June 3 2018 - Blank.jpg

BLANK BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

GINA, COLIN and KLAY at a bar.

They sit in silence

GINA sips her drink.

COLIN sips his drink.

KLAY sips his drink.

Silence.

GINA: So…

KLAY: Yeah?

GINA: What do you want to talk about?

KLAY: Um nothing, really.

GINA: Colin?

COLIN: Same.

GINA: Nothing?

COLIN: Nothing.

GINA: Got it.

COLIN: Yeah.

KLAY sips his drink.

GINA: Cool…

Silence.

GINA: Anything interesting happen to you today?

No answer.

GINA: Colin.

COLIN: Huh?

GINA: Anything interesting happen to you today?

COLIN: No.

GINA: Right… Klay?

KLAY: Nah, not really.

GINA: Not really?

KLAY: Huh?

GINA: You said not really. So, like… maybe something interesting happened to you?

KLAY: Oh. No. Now that you mention it, I have no idea why I said “Not really.” It just came out…

GINA: Got it…

KLAY: I should really stop saying that if I don’t mean anything by it.

GINA: Right…

COLIN sips his drink.

GINA sips her drink.

Silence.

GINA: Been a while.

KLAY: Huh?

GINA: It’s been a while since we’ve all gotten to hang like this.

COLIN: Has it?

GINA: Yes.

COLIN: How long has it been?

GINA: Like three years.

COLIN: Really?

GINA: Yeah!

KLAY: No…

GINA: Yeah!

GINA scrolls through the photos on her phone.

GINA: The last time was…. Here.

GINA shows KLAY and COLIN a photo of them together at the same bar, three years ago.

KLAY: There we are.

COLIN: Wow…

KLAY: This was three years ago?

GINA: Yeah!

COLIN: Yeah, look at your hair there, Klay.

KLAY: Oh shoot. Yeah, you’re right.

GINA: That hair.

KLAY: Gross…

GINA: Kinda, yeah…

They all continue to look at the photo for three seconds.

Then, all at the same time, they stop looking at it.

GINA takes a sip of her drink.

KLAY takes a sip of his drink.

COLIN takes a sip of his drink.

GINA: So…

KLAY: So…

COLIN: So…

GINA: Anything?

KLAY: Nah.

COLIN: Nope.

KLAY: You?

COLIN: Yeah, Gina, you?

GINA: Not really, no. I have nothing to say either…

COLIN: Word…

KLAYL: Yeah…

COLIN takes a sip of his drink.

KLAY takes a sip of his drink.

GINA takes a sip of her drink.

KLAY: Well… I’m glad we did this.

GINA: Yeah…

COLIN: Me too…

COLIN, KLAY and GINA all down the rest of their drinks together at the same time.

END OF PLAY.

Tiyaanah & Drew by Jeffrey Lo

June 2 2018 - Tiyaanah and Drew.jpg

TIYAANAH & DREW BY JEFFREY LO (DOWNLOAD PDF HERE)

A park.

Sitting alone on a bench is TIYAANAH.

TIYAANAH, 29 years old, is wearing a nice pink silk robe.

Her name is embroidered onto the back of the robe.

She definitely sticks out sitting here alone in a public park.

TIYAANAH closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

After a moment DREW enters.

DREW, 31 years old, is wearing a full suit and is carrying two ice cream cones. 

DREW: You wanted coconut in a waffle cone right? Or was it coffee in a sugar cone?

TIYAANAH: Which one did you get?

DREW: I got both and figured whichever one was the wrong one was for me.

TIYAANAH: You’re the best.

DREW: Trying to be.

They kiss.

DREW: I was pretty sure it was coconut.

TIYAANAH: Coffee.

DREW: Damnit.

TIYAANAH: In a waffle cone.

DREW: Double damnit! Um…

DREW looks at the coffee ice cream sitting on the wrong cone.

DREW: I can fix this…

TIYAANAH: Sugar cone is fine.

DREW: You sure?

TIYAANAH: Yes. It’s not a big deal. 

DREW sits next to TIYAANAH and hands her the ice cream.

TIYAANAH: Thank you for this.

DREW: Sorry.

TIYAANAH: Don’t be. All I wanted was to be sitting with my husband. And here he is. So thank you for that too.

TIYAANAH puts her head on DREW’s shoulder.

They sit in a comfortable, happy silence.

Beat.

DREW: I mean… I’m not your husband yet.

TIYAANAH: I know, I know…

DREW: But soon, enough.

TIYAANAH: It feels like forever from now.

DREW: I mean, it’ll be today.

TIYAANAH: What’ll be today?

DREW: Our wedding.

TIYAANAH: Will it be? I lost track. I forgot that all of this fuss was supposed to be for us.

DREW: Hm. Yeah… I feel that too.

TIYAANAH looks at DREW.

TIYAANAH: You got ready fast.

DREW: Yeah. A lot less prep goes into me, it seems.

TIYAANAH: And the rest of the guys.

DREW: All suited up. Playing Switch back at the hotel.

TIYAANAH: Are they gonna look for you?

DREW: They’re playing Switch at the hotel.

TIYAANAH: The girls are probably all freaking out looking for me.

DREW: Hah, yeah I bet.

TIYAANAH: They’ll be fine. I need my alone time.

DREW stands up as a joke.

DREW: Oh should I - ?

TIYAANAH: Sit down. You know what I mean, dummy.

DREW sits.

DREW: This has kinda sucked, huh?

TIYAANAH nods her head.

DREW: Yeah… I’m sorry about that.

TIYAANAH: It’s not your fault our families are filled with crazy, self-centered monsters crawling around the Hilton like the first layer of hell.

DREW: Wow… That was quite a picture.

TIYAANAH: I’ve been thinking about it for a while.

DREW: Yeah... This wedding doesn’t totally seem like usdoes it?

TIYAANAH: No.

Beat.

DREW: What would that look like?

TIYAANAH: What?

DREW: An uswedding. What would a wedding – stripped away of any of the family and expectation – look like? A wedding that – hold onto your robe – was actually aboutyou and me?

TIYAANAH: Huh. Wow.

DREW: I know.

TIYAANAH: Hard to even picture.

DREW: Is it?

TIYAANAH: What do you mean?

DREW: I can picture that version of our wedding pretty easily. Close your eyes.

TIYAANAH gives DREW a look.

DREW: Just close them.

TIYAANAH closes her eyes.

They sit together.

DREW: Now open them.

TIYAANAH opens her eyes.

DREW: Here we are.

TIYAANAH: What are you talking about?

DREW: Here we are at the wedding that is actually for us. Here it is. It’s you. It’s me. It’s nobody else.

TIYAANAH smiles.

DREW: I have an idea.

TIYAANAH: Another idea?

DREW: Let’s get married.

TIYAANAH: We are getting married.

DREW: No but like, not the way we were going to get married.

TIYAANAH: What are you talking about?

DREW: Let’s get married now. 

TIYAANAH: Now?

DREW: Like now now. Like – before 5:30, now.

TIYAANAH: But everyone’s waiting for us.

DREW: Well they can keep waiting for us. We can go to city hall and just do it.

TIYAANAH: You need an appointment for that.

DREW: You do?

TIYAANAH: Yes.

DREW: … well shit… That’s too bad.

Pause.

They both burst into laughter.

DREW: That would’ve been cool though, wouldn’t it? Just up and getting married. Running away from everyone like – FUCK YOU GUYS!

TIYAANAH: Hahaha, you’re ridiculous.

DREW: Ridiculously in love with you.

TIYAANAH shoots DREW a look.

DREW: That sounded better in my head.

TIYAANAH: You need to get your head checked…

DREW: Yeah, checked for a concussion.

TIYAANAH: I said I was sorry!

DREW: I don’t even understand how you can turn in bed that quickly. Your elbow hit my forehead at like at least 70 miles per hour.

TIYAANAH laughs and kisses DREW’s forehead.

TIYAANAH: Does it still hurt.

DREW: Yes! I don’t have a vibranium skull.

They laugh.

As the laughter dies down they hold hands.

TIYAANAH: I love you.

DREW: I love you too.

TIYAANAH: Shall we go get married?

DREW: I don’t have an appointment.

TIYAANAH: We have an appointment at 5:30.

DREW: With all the scary people?

TIYAANAH: With all the scary people…

DREW: Well… good thing I reallywanna marry you. Makes fighting off those scary people worth it…

END OF PLAY.